Scared you, didn't I?

Listen up:

We're creating an alternate site.

This site will remain our special lil secret. One that you can share with one million of your friends.

We're trying to turn this into a business and hope we'll have your support. Needed a slightly, just ever so slightly less hostile website url. The new site will begin about mid November. We're in this for the long haul, so your patience will be rewarded, Donna. And the other four of you.

Love,



Cliff

On Sale November 15th!!!

Hollywood Trainwreck 2010 Calendar!!!!

Holy Shit God Almighty

I am in Helsinki on assignment for Mr. Hughes. Did all fucking hell just break loose?

Two comic geniuses died this date

First, in 1990 we lost Jacob Gellman, one of my comic heroesOne of my favorite movies featuring Jack:

and then, in 2001, again, one of the great comice geniuses of the 20th century, and that is no exaggeration, Imogene Fernandez de Coca

Hollywood Trainwreck 2009 calendar- June artwork

Pigtails infrequently invites outsiders into his part of the villa. He and companions Piggy Gugenham and Hamouflage have knocked off some rather large bottles of 'buie here in the sunroom of his wing. Mrs Nazimova has no idea that he's painted the walls, the window frames, a couple of frescos and the ceilings (it took him two days cuz he had to do it by himself). If you run into her please do not mention it, or that there is a second story to Villa Cugat.

365 days later we still miss him

If you watch these you won't have to wiki YSL, who left us one year ago today. My beloved husband Rusty was and is an avid fan.

Died this date in 1951

What do you know about Fania Borach?Originally buried in Home of Peace Cemetery in East LA, Fanny now resides with her daughter Fran, son-in-law Ray Stark and grandson Peter in Westwood.

Who left a mark as great as she?

If Mary Pickford was not the most important woman to live in the 20th Century, well, she certainly was one of them. Whatever I write here won't do justice to her contribution to the history of both the film business and her home of fifty years, Beverly Hills. She died today, in 1979 in her home, Pickfair:Pickfair, 1920All that remains of the original home is the swimming poolAnd a small sampler of this tiny dynamo

Hide the liquor

According to Bennett Cerf in his 1944 book Try and Stop Me, Woolley was at a dinner party and suddenly belched. A woman sitting nearby glared at him; he glared back and said, "What did you expect--chimes?

I always liked this guy

What do you know about Paul Gleason? He currently resides in Westwood.

We always enjoy seeing her around the Garden

Cobina is not on good terms with Joan as she frequently greets her as "Livvy".

We will always remember you, Uncle Charlie

Possibly the greatest agent of all time, Charles Feldman passed on this date in 1968. He is shown in the bar here at the Garden with client Rita Hayworth. As you can plainly see, they both are warmly greeting Cobina as she comes to fish Pigtails out from under the banquette. They just love Mom.

The gentlemanly agent and producer resides in Hollywood near the love of his life, Jean Howard.

Take a stroll and say hi to old friends

emphasis on old, right Gonxha?Westwood Memorial Park, updated by moi por vous. We're spending Memorial day remembering all of you.

Forty-eight years later we still would marry her

Joan now resides in Culver City at Holy Cross, you'll note that Wiki thinks Joan is five years older than her headstone would have you believe

Julie Julie Julie Do You Love Me?

Julius Jacob Garfinkle, also known as John Garfield- gone fifty-seven years todayyou'll watch the whole thing if you want by clicking on the youtube logo, but here's at least enough to whet your appetite

Memorial Day is practically here

If you have a moment, start the slide show and let the Boss sing to you. Life is a precious thing as is love.

She was a very funny woman

Wistful as I am about missing Gilda, now I'm missing Dom all over again

Fifteen Years Later, She's Still Gone

I know you know I'm talking about Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis, and this is her:Complicated life. Don't think I would have wanted to trade places with her, think of what she saw.

Honestly, the math here is starting not to make any sense

Remind me to ask Cobina if the "Big Bang" was loud when the solar system was formed

Mother invited over her best friend

(How old is Mother anyway?)

Cobina gets really mad

Because Sue and Alan spend all their time talking to Pigtails, not her. Today Mr Ladd used all the remaining creme de menthe in both our villa as well as Mrs Steele's to make his imprint in our forecourt.

Not a great idea during that "monkey flu" scare

Well, at least not for Lex Barker, that is.

Dirk, we hardly knew ye

At least I have to admit I didn't know much about Mr. Bogarde.

He probably lived a very good life

I have to ask you, is there a really good biography of Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.? Did his life merit such treatment? After he divorced Joan Crawford he married the ex-wife of Huntington Hartford and they bought this swell place atop Amalfi in the Palisades which still exists.

Marwene, still dead seventeen years later

How much do you know about Marlene Dietrich?Cobina has a still from this in her dressing room here at the Villa.

Cecil and Beanie are truly bummed, once again

As it is the thirteenth anniversary of the passing of legendary animator Bob Clampett, and do take a moment to take in just how talented this wonderful man was. That's Bob and his family above enjoying their swimming pool.and a little dessert for you

Wow. Talk about out of left field

Without warning, Dom DeLuise was snatched from our midst today. Cobina is at mass, surely they will announce this at St. Victor's.

I always really enjoyed Jack Weston

We still miss Jack Weinstein, who left us thirteen years ago today

See, good things do happen in twos sometimes

The Earth unloaded itself of two perfectly awful creatures on this date, each who doth protesteth way too mucheth about their amazing self-righteousness

First, in 1957, you remember hater Joe McCarthytruly a looker, by this time his liver was a blue football
this was the kind of crap that people had to put up with, sound familiar?

Next, there is this winnerSeventeen years ago we lost J. Edgar Hoover, here is more than an earful on him, but I think you'll find it interesting

Nine years goes by very quickly

How much do you know about Steve Reeves?

Too bad he wasn't hot.

I never really liked David Blaine before this

This story has always fascinated me

Lover of many, wife of Ike, let's just say that it all really did turn to shit for Inger Stevens on this day in 1970.Get a little taste of "The Farmer's Daughter"

It Has Officially All Turned To Shit, Today, Right Now

She's dead. Shit. We really liked her alot.

The thing I hate about actors

In the first place, I didn't really offer Dick Widmark a place in history in the forecourt of our Villa. B) He made Pigtails run across Crescent Heights at rush hour to Schwab's 3) He charged 30 boxes of Bic pens to our account and ground them up into his cement- this is never going to dry

It all ended for him, Twenty-three years ago today

I'm talking about Otto Preminger. Listen to him blather-



Articulate film critic Rex Reed observed while obliterating another director's work:

The blame for the intense doldrums in The Secret Lives of Dentists lies with the tepid, stagnant direction by Alan Rudolph, a hack who, like the late, unlamented Otto Preminger, mysteriously continues, in film after film, to attract big stars, wear them down until they do their worst work, and drag out a career of mediocrity far beyond the law of diminishing returns. The secrets of the dentists in The Secret Lives of Dentists are safe with me.

Ouch.
This is considered some of Otto's best work, would have LOVED to seen him boss around the Chairman.

Lord, WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL?

That you would deprive us of this?:You are a liar if you can't laugh at some of this. He was a very specific kind of genius.

Well, you don't have to be.....

How much do you know about him? It's not talked about but part of his deal with Princeton is that they keep the Villa closest to Crescent Heights permanently in his name.

Finally I get a little concrete

Ray has insisted upon using all of Mother's Egyptian #5 to make his patch of the forecourt a little more distinct. The "honour" that Ray alludes to was me making him fish Mr Benchley out of the east koi pond.

Now that you're done with taxes

Appreciate the fact that Henry Mancini was born this date 85 years ago

Also we were graced with the birth of Edie Adams 82 years ago- she died this past October.As you probably know, this clip was the very last time Lucy and Desi performed together (as they were divorcing) so the irony here is enormous. Watch Viv.

Mr Drysdale always dies before Tax Day

We all know Raymond Bailey as Milburn Drysdale, but here is some of his earlier work, a sampler from "Tales of Tomorrow" with some guy called Paul Newman

We rose before He did

Mr Benchley has failed to drive Mother to the Bowl,therefore I am stuck here at 520am
with Cobina, Pigtails, Jinx Falkenburg, and Jane from Schwabs

>
just watch the light change around the Bowl
Opening number, it's about 54 degrees out and the woman onstage is beating the Lord's Prayer to death.

See you at brunch.

Mother wanted me to scope the Bowl out for her

You know that she is planning on attending the sunrise service tomorrow with Mrs. Nazimova and several others from the Garden.and if you were feeling emotional and needed just one more thing to push you over the edge tonight--

Visit some friends on Good Friday

Everyone at Hollywood Forever has been asking about you. This slideshow contains about seventy new photos. Enjoy in a somber kind of way.

Claroscureaux is at it again

Look who he's celebrating today!

I hate it when he gets all liquored up

All he does is shout at Mother or Dixie or those poor twins. Also, he insisted upon using molten lava. Mean guy.

Oh, sure, he wants you to think he's dead

Golly, so much written about my boss, Howard Hughes. I can't believe you really think he's dead.
Let's see if he shows up at the staff meeting tomorrow. I'm used to the Kleenex boxes as slippers.

"Oscar's" Big Night?

Here, read about this douchebag. There have been so many different, well-written accounts of what happened to the man (so well-endowed his thing was nicknamed "Oscar"), but as always I turn to the most credible of all, what else but from "Crowning Glory" by Sydney Unohooaroff:Seriously, Crowning Glory is hours of entertainment. Sydney claims to have been at the center of many many events, check it out for yourself.

Sassy, dead Nineteen years

She was incomparable, indeed yes I put them in that order for a reason.
Incomparable. Although I do believe in later years Sassy was also known as Boozy.

Perhaps it was the UHF that did her in fifteen years ago today

You know I'm talking about Betty Furness, right?Mother is sitting rapt with attention to the screen and has just asked Captain Brown to pour them both another drink.

This is the moment I have feared the most

I know you may be bored with this

But I have finally gotten that old woman to put prices on all the beaded jewelry, here is a fast slideshow of what we've got:
Contact me directly at cliftonguilaroff@me.com if you are interested.

Yet another example of fatalism

You must admit it was weird how it worked out for Brandon Lee.

He's okay, it's just that ridiculous haircut that bugs me

Mother is letting ANYONE that asks put their handprints down in the forecourt of her villa here at the Garden of Allah.

It all turned to shit Seven years ago today

For Milton Berle, at least.

I know you've seen the BBC interview of Milton, but have you seen Milt with Skip E. Lowe?

My Rusty always gets all bummed out

Because his idol Halston died on this date in 1990.

It all turned to shit Seventeen years ago today

At least it did for Nancy Walker, who died on this date in 1992. I also liked this.

Now I know where all the pomegranate juice went

not a lot of underpants going on there either